The homeschooling journey...

"Homeschooling is like entering a lifeboat from a large cruise ship. The cruise ship - like some schools - is pleasant enough, but unfortunately travels in circles, seeming to go nowhere. Some passengers learn to handle of even enjoy the prescribed activities. Others openly rebel by acting out or spacing out.

One day, knowing there must be a better way, you and your family board a lifeboat to chart your own course. your children look to you for direction, and you smile back, a little scared and definitely lost. Uncertain of your destination, you look around the great big ocean from your tiny lifeboat, wave good-bye to the cruise ship, and start rowing.

That is how most families begin homeschooling. they dip their oars into the water and shove off, using the equipment available - their experience, learning materials in their homes, and free community resources. Eventually, they reach an island where they find other homeschooling families and learn about ta world of resources and opportunities. Their children begin to flourish, and they wonder why they ever had any doubts about leaving the ship."

Homeschooling the Teen Years by Cafi Cohen

This is such a good analogy!

The Parable of the Lost Son AKA The Story of the Prodigal Son

The Parable of the Lost Son

Luke 15:11-32New International Version (NIV)

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. 25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ 28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ 31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Some things to remember about this parable:

Prodigal - 1. Characterized by profuse or wasteful expenditure 2. Recklessly spendthrift.

The prodigal child lived the way he wanted for a period of time, but he came back to his father. The opportunity for healing didn't occur until the prodigal child realized that he wanted a relationship with his father. A prodigal child will not return without a change of heart and it must be the prodigal child's choice to return. I fear that if the father had actively sought out the prodigal child and tried to make the prodigal child see reason that it would have prolonged the prodigal child's absence.

You don't need to earn a parent's love. You can count on a parent's love; it will always be there. The father had no choice but to continue tending his flocks and fields while the prodigal child was gone. Others were depending on him. He must have been hurt deeply but in his wisdom he knew that God was in control and that all things work together for the glory of God.

Every time I hear this parable I get something else out of it. There's a good book called The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller that talks about the older son in this parable. He talks about why the older son was mad; because he followed all the rules and did everything he was supposed to and the younger son did not. It's a very interesting read, especially to an oldest child.

Winter Storm

Sunrise this morning. It was 4* at 7am with a few snowflakes in the air. It was 3* at 7:30am and the clouds covered the sun and there was more snow. At 3pm today it is 30*, blue skies not a cloud in sight and no snow falling.
Apparently, the horses thought it was feeding time.
Isn't this the epitome of New Mexico weather? I could have moved the camera slightly to the left and gotten a picture of blue skies and slightly tot he right and severe dark clouds. LOL

A wise ruling

"16 Now two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. 17 One of them said, “Pardon me, my lord. This woman and I live in the same house, and I had a baby while she was there with me. 18 The third day after my child was born, this woman also had a baby. We were alone; there was no one in the house but the two of us.
19 “During the night this woman’s son died because she lay on him. 20 So she got up in the middle of the night and took my son from my side while I your servant was asleep. She put him by her breast and put her dead son by my breast. 21 The next morning, I got up to nurse my son—and he was dead! But when I looked at him closely in the morning light, I saw that it wasn’t the son I had borne.”

22 The other woman said, “No! The living one is my son; the dead one is yours.”

But the first one insisted, “No! The dead one is yours; the living one is mine.” And so they argued before the king.

23 The king said, “This one says, ‘My son is alive and your son is dead,’ while that one says, ‘No! Your son is dead and mine is alive.’”

24 Then the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So they brought a sword for the king. 25 He then gave an order: “Cut the living child in two and give half to one and half to the other.”

26 The woman whose son was alive was deeply moved out of love for her son and said to the king, “Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don’t kill him!”

But the other said, “Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!”

27 Then the king gave his ruling: “Give the living baby to the first woman. Do not kill him; she is his mother.”

28 When all Israel heard the verdict the king had given, they held the king in awe, because they saw that he had wisdom from God to administer justice." 1 Kings 3:16-28 NIV

For the longest time I felt guilty about us not forcing ourselves into Jeremy and Amber's lives. This story explains it. It caused the kids so much heartache and pain to be involved with Bo and I (and Benjaman) because their mother didn't want that. So she made it very hard on the kids. I sat next to both kids, lending comfort, while they were on the phone with their mom explaining that they just wanted to spend some time with their dad. They were saying things like: "Yes, Mom, I still love you" and "Mom, nothing's wrong, he didn't promise me anything. I just want to get to know my dad". Of course, these conversations happened when they were teenagers; they are burned into my brain along with every single mistake Bo and I made that alienated them further. Bo opted to just accept the minimum involvement their mother would allow when they were younger. Now I understand. I held it against him for a long time. I even felt guilty about it for a long time; I thought it had something to do with me or the kids not wanting to be around me. Now, I realize that they were made to pay for all contact with their dad, but especially me. It especially hurts now because we really thought we would have their adult lives to form relationships. Now Jeremy is gone and so is that opportunity. I am so glad that the year before he died he decided to spend time with us anyway. We at least have a few memories to cherish. I still feel cheated though. I know I'll see him in Glory and I know I should be satisfied with that. I know he lives on in my heart. Sometimes that isn't comfort enough. I won't know what kind of husband he would be; what kind of parent he would be, what kind of grand-parent he would be. I regret every bad moment between us; it is lost and I can't make it right. I also know that these thoughts are selfish and serve no purpose other than to harm me.

A plea to all who share custody of their kids:

PLEASE PUT THE KIDS FEELINGS AND NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN! There are long-lasting effects. Just because the child turns 18 doesn't mean the games stop. It doesn't mean that you are free of other parent. It also doesn't mean that you will be able to forge that relationship with the child. It is heartbreaking.

For all my loving family and friends: Please don't worry, I am okay. I'm just working through things. Apparently, taking anti-depressants for 2 years after Jeremy's death did not allow me to pass through grief. So, while it may seem belated to some, I am grieving as I should have done almost 3 years ago. There are no shortcuts in life. I hope someone can learn from my experiences.

WHY?

WHY?! Why did you give us a bath?! We worked very hard to get that smelly and dirty!

BJJ

Here's Ben after his stripe promotion with Professor Raphael. Ben is now Orange belt 3rd yellow stripe. Ben trains at Gracie Barra in Albuquerque.

Southwest Grapplefest V, Rio Rancho, NM
Benjaman is in the blue Gi in both fights.

From Bo:
Fight #1 The first match was against a girl who was ranked green belt (1 belt above Benjaman). He finished her with an arm bar technique.

Fight #2 The second match was against another green belt. Benjaman finished him with a choke while defending against an arm bar.

Don't worry if you don't know what "arm bar" means, Benjaman will be happy to answer any questions you may have!

Both matches were against very strong opponents and we are very proud of him.

Champ!

Sabbatical project

What's better to do on sabbatical than major household renovation?!

We (Bo) are (is) replacing the flooring in the house, removing the wood stove and (finally) finishing that corner, painting the bathroom and various other areas.

More cool floor for the dogs to lay on!

The laundry room. We are thinking about this color for the guest bath and the kitchen. We know it's dark and it might make the rooms seem smaller but it's so rich. It's really beautiful. If whoever buys our place doesn't like it then they can replace it!